A few weeks before Valentine’s Day, I was looking through the credit card statement and noticed a few purchases that my husband had made. One purchase to a jewelry store, one to a website that printed custom canvas love poems, and another to a site that specialized in custom made calendars. Just a few days prior to my discovery, my husband announced that he wanted to save money and not purchase gifts for Valentine’s Day this year.
Any woman can say that when a husband declares a holiday so overly associated with gifts that express tokens of love, a gift free event, it can be a little disheartening. It can be even more upsetting when a person insists on not exchanging gifts, but the evidence is in front of you that gifts had in fact been purchased. It was only later that it donned on me, that I actually paid for half of every gift that was ordered, but that is a whole other blog post.
When Valentine’s Day came, I received a necklace. One, I would later find out, was a last minute purchased because my husband had found out I knew about the gifts that were purchased beforehand. I never received a poem…I never received a calendar. But, it was obvious that someone else had.
A month later, my daughter was scheduled to go on a camping trip with her Girl Scouts’ Troop. My husband was overly insistent that I still take her on the camping trip, even though the Governor of our state had issued an order closing down schools and other facilities due to Covid-19. Obviously, we ended up not going on the trip, but he insisted that he had planned a guys’ weekend and would be going away for two nights. I didn’t hear from him for an entire 24 hours. Red Flag #1.
More weekends like this continued, even after I told him I wanted him to stay home, as per Government issued orders. But still, he went. During this time, I found condoms, a motel key, phone records to motels, food receipts, and a receipt for Plan B. Game over.
It wasn’t until May that the mystery of who the other woman was solved. At that point, he had already moved out, abandoned me and our daughter, and dumped all financial, parenting, and household responsibilities on me- an already overworked mother juggling three jobs. His mistress was a minor, made even more shocking when considering that he worked within a position of direct authority over her (translation: felony sex offense in our state).
The arrest is scheduled to happen within the next week and it’s surreal. My child is going to grow up knowing that that her father is a felon, and that he will have to miss out on many of her activities because of jail and the fact that he will be a registered sex offender. I have been bracing myself for the news to make the media because when it hits, I know it will be bad, as people are more than happy to voice their opinions on social media without care to who those opinions could end up hurting.
All I can do now is wait and stay positive for my daughter, as she is one of the victims in this situation too, and nothing will be the same after her father is arrested.